Abstract
It still doesn’t feel real; it still feels like she’s just at the other end of an email or of a WhatsApp message.
What makes it real is knowing that if I do write her an email or send her a message, I won’t get the usual almost instantaneous response from her.
I won’t even get a delayed response; I won’t get a response at all.
Hazel has gone . . . and she’s not coming back.
I still frequently and consciously have to say that sentence to myself. It hasn’t sunk in, passed my brain and into my body, to become part of the things I always already know to be certain without having to form conscious thought.
What makes it real is knowing that if I do write her an email or send her a message, I won’t get the usual almost instantaneous response from her.
I won’t even get a delayed response; I won’t get a response at all.
Hazel has gone . . . and she’s not coming back.
I still frequently and consciously have to say that sentence to myself. It hasn’t sunk in, passed my brain and into my body, to become part of the things I always already know to be certain without having to form conscious thought.
Original language | English |
---|---|
Pages (from-to) | 305-317 |
Number of pages | 13 |
Journal | European Journal of Women's Studies |
Volume | 30 |
Issue number | 3 |
Early online date | 18 Jul 2023 |
DOIs | |
Publication status | Published - 31 Aug 2023 |
Keywords
- editorial
- In Memoriam
- Hazel Johnstone
- women's studies